Scenario: You meet this great girl, things are going well; she makes you smile and your belly gets flutters whenever you hear her voice. It?s been a month and you are falling hard for her, you love her. The two begin to discuss moving in together and children get to know the other partner. The sex is great; you two have sex every morning and night. It?s getting really serious. You pass the days with hours on the phone, Oovoo and Skype. You feel like you know her better than anyone. This has to be the real thing. It?s love. The only problem you haven?t met her yet!
With the increase in online dating, I?ve noticed that many lesbian women are opting for long distance relationships. ?This trend is increasingly rising as people see they?re able to expand their dating pool; meaning now a someone in New York who you may have never met, and never been an option due to ?distance, is now in the running.
Various advances in technology bring a variety of dating options. The most common of these is Long Distance and/or online dating. I have had several lesbian relationships where I have fallen head over heels for women I had never even met. I often met them on social networking sites such as Facebook or in mutual social groups within Facebook. Tagged, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and other social networking sites, make it easy to connect.? Online, Long distance relationships are becoming extremely popular in the LGBT community, especially with lesbians. The most common reason is that it?s hard to tell who?s gay just by looking at them. On the internet or social networking site, a person?s sexual preference is provided for you. There is no misunderstanding, no wondering, and it takes the fear out of hitting on a woman who may be offended because she?s heterosexual.
Oovoo and Skype have brought your potential mate right in front of your face via web cam. You can now sleep together, shower together, eat together, meet family and friends and maintain an intimate relationship. This technology is free and anyone can use it. Once you have an account you add people you know, dial them up and?voila! there they are on the screen in real time.
Feeling a little frisky? Your mate may be thousands of miles across the globe but you can set up the camera, and let the foreplay begin. As your partner talks, you can follow their instructions as to what part of the body to touch, describe how it feels and mutually masturbate all while watching them. There is no substitute for that human contact where intimacy is concerned but sex via web cam is pretty darn close. Phone sex is also common amongst long distance daters as well. You describe exactly what you are doing to your mate, talk dirty and masturbate, all while they are on the other end of the phone.
You?re probably wondering just how much you can get to know someone so well that you fall completely head over heels for them over a computer. The answer is simple. through modern technology dating is put right at your fingertips. In my opinion, online dating is based on emotional attachments; how someone makes us feel, it is the belief that what they are telling you is the absolute truth. We can?t see their body language over a screen; we can?t hear their voice, so we trust that what they say is ultimately true. Eventually, you fall for them and exchange numbers and hopefully their tone, pitch, and voice confirm what you already believe. Like any story being told, it is the authors? perspective.
Online and long distance dating can become expensive as time passes. The two make travel plans and the person with the most flexibility and financial means does the traveling. You often experience high levels of endorphins when you meet. However, leaving can be stressful and comes with uncertainty as to when you will see your partner again. This stress often takes a toll on the relationship, or at least in my case it did. I began to miss her and found myself wishing she was there in day to day activities. Once time has passed, feelings and emotions grew, and we began to focus on how to close the gap on the distance. Then the day comes when the dreaded question must be answered. Who?s going to be the one to move? This can be extremely challenging especially if there are children involved, job relocation must be considered and not to mention moving takes money. ?I fell hook, line and sinker. I packed up my bags, my children, and everything I could put into my 1986 Chevy suburban and left Texas for California. Unfortunately in my case, it didn?t turn out to be love; it instead became a lesson learned (more on that?later).
Online dating was once reserved for those caught up in the rat race, too busy for the time consuming task of dating. This is no longer the case; it is rapidly becoming the norm. I believe as with anything, you must use caution. There is no way to know who you are really talking to behind that computer screen, but something innate is willing to take that gamble. We approach with caution, conscious of the dangers that could be lurking but hopeful things really are just as they seem.
Ultimately the goal is to find love, give love and be loved in return. Zapp and Roger?s prediction came true? Computer love is a now a reality.
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Shaba Mitchell
Shaba is a 34 year old teacher and a single mother of 4. She has been writing since she could hold a pencil and never stopped. Writing has gotten her through some of the lowest points in her life. She can feel healing every time her words flow from her veins onto paper; each word is from her heart to yours.ncaa basketball oikos kentucky wildcats oakland school shooting nike nfl jerseys katie couric barista
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